Brick by Brick Finance

Tag: mental-health

  • What Does It Really Mean to Be “Average”?

    Video: The Fear of Being Average

    This past week, I stumbled across this video that honestly had me sitting there thinking longer than I expected. It talked about what “average” really means, and the story it used stuck with me. The video followed a chef who originally dreamed of being a writer. He tried, failed multiple times, and eventually leaned into what he was already good at cooking. Over time, he became very successful as a chef. From the outside, people saw him as above average, even exceptional. But internally, he felt boxed in. He felt like he had settled. Not because he wasn’t doing well, but because he chose the safer route the skill that was most comfortable instead of continuing to pursue the thing that scared him.

    That’s what really made me pause.

    Because how often do we label success based on what others see, while ignoring how limited we feel on the inside? He wasn’t struggling. He wasn’t failing. Yet he still felt like he was living an average life not because of lack of success, but because of lack of risk.

    Photo by Tomas Ryant on Pexels.com

    So that got me thinking: how does this show up financially?

    Average isn’t about where you start financially.

    Average is about how willing you are to move.

    Watching the video really challenged my thinking. It made me realize that being average isn’t about income, talent, or background it’s about mindset. Average often shows up as staying where it’s comfortable. It looks like not applying because you might get rejected, not starting because you might fail, or not investing time, money, or effort because the outcome isn’t guaranteed. That hit me. I realized being average isn’t about having little it’s about risking little. And growth, whether spiritually, financially, or personally, always requires some level of risk. Not reckless risk, but intentional, faith driven steps forward.

    The Comfort Trap

    A lot of people don’t fail they stall.

    They stay in the same habits.
    The same financial patterns.
    The same mindset.

    Not because they’re incapable, but because comfort feels safe.

    Comfort says:

    • “I’ll wait until I’m 100% ready.”
    • “I’ll do it when it feels right.”
    • “I don’t want to mess up what I already have.”

    But comfort rarely produces growth.

    In finances especially, playing it too safe can quietly keep you stuck:

    • Never learning how money works
    • Never investing in yourself
    • Never budgeting intentionally
    • Never thinking long-term

    You’re not losing but you’re not building either.

    Risk Doesn’t Mean Reckless

    This is important: taking risks does not mean being irresponsible.

    Faith based risk is different from impulsive risk.

    It’s:

    • budgeting before investing
    • learning before leaping
    • planning before spending
    • Praying before deciding

    It’s knowing that growth requires movement, but wisdom sets the pace.

    I’ve learned that real progress happens when you’re willing to step forward with intention, even when the outcome isn’t fully clear.

    One thing that keeps me grounded is remembering that I’m a steward, not an owner.

    That mindset changes everything.

    If what I have is entrusted to me, then my responsibility isn’t to hoard it out of fear it’s to manage it wisely. Matthew 25:14–30 actually gives an amazing parable that shows this. That responsibility includes being willing to grow, stretch, and build for the future.

    Faith doesn’t eliminate risk.
    It reframes it.

    It reminds me that obedience and growth often live on the other side of comfort.

    Brick by Brick Still Requires Courage

    People hear “brick by brick” and think it means slow, safe, and easy.

    It doesn’t.

    Brick by brick still requires:

    • discipline when nobody’s watching
    • patience when results aren’t immediate
    • Consistency when quitting would be easier

    It means trusting the process even when it’s not flashy.

    Choosing to build steadily instead of staying stagnant takes courage.

    The Real Question

    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    So maybe the question isn’t:

    “Am I doing better than everyone else?”

    But:

    “Am I growing, or am I just staying comfortable?”

    Because average isn’t poor.
    Average is choosing safety over growth.
    Average is staying where you are because it feels familiar.

    And I don’t want that.

    I want a life that’s intentional.
    A financial foundation that’s stable.
    A mindset that’s disciplined.
    A faith that moves me forward.

    Not all at once.
    Not recklessly.

    But brick by brick.

    Faith. Finance. Fun.

    Brick by Brick Finance

  • How to Stay Calm When Large Sums of Money Come In

    When large sums of money come in, the hardest part isn’t what to do with it it’s how you react to it.

    There’s a rush that comes with seeing a bigger number than you’re used to. Relief. Excitement. Sometimes even entitlement. It can feel like permission to loosen up, upgrade things, or make decisions quickly just because the money is there.

    I’m learning that those moments matter more than we realize.

    Because money that comes in quickly can leave just as fast especially when decisions are made emotionally instead of intentionally.

    Why Large Sums Feel Different

    Large sums create a false sense of abundance.

    Spending feels lighter. Small purchases feel insignificant. Discipline starts to feel optional. There’s often an unspoken urgency to “do something” with the money, even when nothing actually needs to be done.

    The problem isn’t the money itself.
    It’s the rush that comes with it.

    Excitement clouds judgment. And when judgment is clouded, decisions tend to drift away from long-term goals and toward short-term satisfaction.

    Photo by John Guccione http://www.advergroup.com on Pexels.com

    Learning to Pause Instead of React

    One of the biggest lessons I’m still learning is the power of pausing.

    Just because money comes in doesn’t mean it needs to be touched immediately. Not every decision needs to be made in the same moment the money arrives. Urgency is often artificial.

    When I slow down, clarity shows up.

    Letting the excitement pass creates space to think clearly about priorities, responsibilities, and long-term direction. Calm turns money into a tool instead of a temptation.

    Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

    What I’m Learning to Do When Money Comes In

    I don’t have this perfected, but I’m building a few principles that help me stay grounded when larger amounts hit my account.

    1. I don’t touch the money right away

    The first rule I’m learning is simple: wait.

    Even a day or two creates emotional distance. It lowers the impulse to spend just because the money is visible. That pause alone has saved me from decisions I would’ve questioned later.

    2. I let the excitement settle

    Big numbers create big feelings. I’m learning not to make decisions at emotional peaks.

    Once the excitement fades, the real questions surface:
    What is this money for?
    What does it need to support?
    What would I regret doing with it?

    Calm brings better answers.

    3. I separate it from daily spending

    When possible, I move larger sums out of my main spending account.

    Separation creates protection. It keeps money from quietly disappearing through convenience purchases or emotional spending. Out of sight doesn’t mean out of control it means intentional.

    4. I connect money to goals before desires

    Before spending, I try to tie the money to something bigger than the moment.

    Travel. Giving. Saving. Stability. Growth.

    When money is attached to purpose, spending becomes more thoughtful. I’m not just asking, “Can I afford this?” I’m asking, “Does this align with where I’m trying to go?”

    5. I make decisions in calm, not emotion

    This might be the most important lesson of all.

    Money decisions made in excitement, stress, or comparison rarely age well. Calm decisions tend to last longer and bring more peace.

    Staying level headed protects progress.

    Putting Money to Work, Not Just Letting It Sit

    Photo by Du039bVu039e Gu039bRCIu039b on Pexels.com

    Another part of staying calm when money comes in is deciding where it should go, not just where it shouldn’t.

    When I receive scholarships or larger sums, I try to remind myself that this money has purpose beyond immediate spending. It’s not just extra it’s opportunity.

    For me, that’s meant learning to invest and intentionally allocate money toward long-term growth. Instead of letting everything sit in one place or slowly disappear through small purchases, I try to put portions toward things that build over time.

    That doesn’t mean I invest perfectly or always know the “best” move. It means I’m thinking beyond the moment.

    Scholarships especially changed my perspective. Receiving that kind of support made me more aware that the money wasn’t random it was given to help me move forward. Treating it casually didn’t sit right with me.

    So I try to be intentional. Some goes toward investing. Some toward future goals. Some toward stability. The point isn’t maximizing every dollar it’s honoring the opportunity responsibly.

    Learning to invest has taught me patience. It’s another reminder that growth doesn’t need urgency. It needs consistency.

    Faith Keeps Me Grounded in the Moment

    Faith has helped me not let money control my emotions whether it’s tight or abundant.

    Instead of reacting, I try to pause and ask for wisdom. Not perfection. Not fear. Just clarity.

    There is a verse that’s been shaping how I think about money lately (Luke 16: 10-11)

    “Whoever is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and whoever is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much. 11If then you have not been faithful with the dishonest wealth, who will entrust to you the true riches?”

    This reminds me that God demands our faithfulness whether we have a lot of money, or little money, and whether we manage our own money, or someone else’s money.

    Discipline isn’t about restriction it’s about alignment.

    Calm Is the Skill That Protects Every Win

    Large sums don’t require large reactions.

    They require clarity.

    I’m learning that staying calm when money comes in is just as important as staying disciplined when money is tight. Calm protects progress whether that progress is saving, investing, or preparing for what’s next.

    I don’t handle every moment perfectly. But I’m building the habit of pausing, reflecting, and choosing intentionally.

    And for me it’s built brick by brick.

    Faith. Finance. Fun.

    Brick by Brick Finance

  • Being Surrounded Without Being Conformed!

    Photo by Paweu0142 L. on Pexels.com

    Being back in college is always an adjustment.

    You go from break mode quieter days, more control of your time, fewer distractions straight into constant motion. People everywhere. Events every week. Group chats blowing up. Late nights. Food runs. “Let’s go out.” “Let’s grab this.” “Let’s do that.”

    And none of these things are bad.

    But they are constant.

    When I got back on campus, it didn’t take long to notice how easy it is to start moving at the same pace as everyone else around you  not just socially, but financially.

    Everywhere you turn, someone is spending.

    Food deliveries.
    Outfits.
    Trips.
    Concerts.
    Random Amazon orders.
    “Just $10.”
    “Just this once.”
    “Everyone’s going.”

    And the crazy part is, none of it feels irresponsible in the moment. It feels normal. It feels deserved. It feels small.

    That’s how conformity works.
    It doesn’t usually show up as pressure.
    It shows up as atmosphere.

    You don’t wake up deciding to be careless with money. You just slowly absorb the habits, expectations, and pace of the people around you.

    And college is one of the strongest environments for that.

    I’m surrounded by good people. Ambitious people. Social people. Hard-working people. But I’m also surrounded by spending. By constant movement. By the opportunities to turn every week into an expense.

    And this semester, I’ve been forced to look at myself honestly.

    Not in a dramatic way.
    In a practical way.

    Can I enjoy being surrounded… without being conformed?

    Because the truth is, my goals don’t move at the same pace as campus life.

    The future I say I want traveling more, building financial stability, funding ideas, helping my family, creating margin requires money with intention. Not just money that disappears in pieces.

    Stratford: an Olympic hockey goal is scored by Chris Downer is licensed under CC-BY-SA 2.0

    From a faith perspective, I’m also learning that being surrounded doesn’t just shape what you spend it tries to shape what you believe. When you’re in constant community, people will speak into your plans, your pace, and even your vision. Sometimes it’s helpful. Sometimes it’s loving. But sometimes, without realizing it, you start shrinking, delaying, or reshaping things God put on your heart simply because the people around you don’t see it, don’t value it, or don’t move the same way. And if you’re not careful, you don’t just drift financially  you drift spiritually. You start funding what’s popular instead of protecting what’s purposeful.

    So now, every time something comes up, I’m learning to pause and ask better questions:

    Do I actually want this?
    Or do I just want to participate?

    Is this aligned with where I’m trying to go?
    Or just where I am right now?

    Am I choosing this?
    Or am I drifting into it?

    This doesn’t mean I never go out.
    It doesn’t mean I never spend.
    It doesn’t mean I isolate myself.

    It means I’m trying to build the skill of awareness.

    Awareness of how often money leaves my hands.
    Awareness of how quickly small decisions stack.
    Awareness of how much of spending is emotional, social, or environmental.

    Because money is one of the first places we get conformed.

    We copy what’s normal.
    We normalize what’s common.
    We excuse what’s around us.

    And if you’re not careful, you wake up months later wondering where your money went when really, it went exactly where the environment kept pointing it.

    This season of my life is teaching me that discipline isn’t about being extreme.

    Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

    It’s about being rooted.

    Rooted enough to enjoy community without outsourcing your decisions.
    Rooted enough to say yes without always saying yes.
    Rooted enough to remember that your financial life is personal even when everything around you is shared.

    I’m still learning. I’m not “there.”
    But I am paying attention.

    And sometimes, that’s the first real form of growth:
    Being surrounded… without being conformed.

    Faith. Finance. Fun.

    Brick by Brick Finance

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  • So… How Do We Actually Become Better Financially?

    3–4 minutes

    If I’m being honest, I’m not “good” financially yet and that used to bother me.

    I’m not at the place where everything is perfectly budgeted, savings are stacked, and decisions are automatic. I’m learning. I’m noticing. I’m adjusting. And a lot of this journey has come from meeting reality instead of running from it.

    One of my personal goals for this year is to travel more.

    I want to see new places, experience new cultures, and put myself in environments that stretch me. But wanting to travel is forcing me to face something simple and uncomfortable:

    Experiences cost money.

    And not just money you hope you’ll have money you actually need to prepare for.

    That realization alone started changing how I look at my habits.

    1. Meeting reality

    There was a point where I had to stop romanticizing goals and start looking at my numbers.

    I couldn’t just say, “I want to travel more” while not knowing where my money was going. I couldn’t say, “I want to build financial freedom” while avoiding my bank app. I had to meet reality.

    That means checking statements. Seeing patterns. Admitting where money was leaking. Not to shame myself but to tell myself the truth.

    And its because i simply realized reality is the starting point of real growth

    2. Awareness before action

    Before budgets, systems, or strategies, I am build awareness.

    I started paying attention. How often I was eating out. How often I was making convenience purchases. How often I was spending emotionally instead of intentionally!

    Awareness has not fixed everything but it gave me vision.

    It showed me what I was actually funding.

    And sometimes, what I was funding didn’t match what I said I wanted.

    3. Letting goals confront habits

    Once travel became a real goal instead of a vague idea, it started confronting my daily decisions.

    Every random purchase had a quiet question behind it:

    “Is this closer to a trip… or further from one?”

    I don’t always choose right. Sometimes I still spend first and think later. But now, I notice. And noticing is progress.

    I’m learning that financial growth and growth in general starts when your goals begin to guide behavior.

    4. Learning to build structure

    I’m currently developing systems.

    Some weeks I’m consistent. Some weeks I’m not.

    I’m experimenting with automatic savings, separating accounts, and weekly money check-ins. Some of it works. Some of it shows me what I need to fix.

    But what I’m learning is this: motivation isn’t enough.

    If I want to travel, give, build, and grow, I need structure that supports those goals.

    And structure is built one brick at a time.

    5. Understanding why I spend

    Another part I’m still learning is understanding my spending triggers.

    Sometimes I spend out of joy.
    Sometimes generosity.
    Sometimes convenience.

    But sometimes it’s to force myself to do stuff (Ex: Gym clothes).
    Sometimes stress.
    Sometimes comparison.

    Those moments matter.

    Because money often reveals what’s happening internally.

    Becoming better financially has meant slowing down and asking, “Why am I buying this?”

    Not to restrict myself but to understand myself.

    6. Faith keeps me grounded in the process

    Faith has helped me not turn money into pressure.

    I’m learning to be a steward, not be a perfect person.

    I pray over decisions. I ask for wisdom. I check my heart posture. And when I mess up, I reset instead of quitting.

    Faith reminds me that discipline is formed not forced.

    Small steps, real progress

    Right now, progress looks small.

    It looks like checking my account instead of avoiding it.
    Writing goals instead of just thinking them.
    Saving something instead of nothing.
    Pausing before purchases.
    Reflecting after mistakes.

    That’s not sweet.

    But it’s real.

    And real habits are what trips, freedom, and opportunities are built on.

    So How?

    So how do we actually become better financially?

    We meet reality.
    We build awareness.
    We let goals challenge habits.
    We experiment with structure.
    We learn ourselves.
    We stay in the process.

    I’m not traveling the world yet.

    But I’m becoming more intentional.

    And for where I am in life, that’s real growth getting built brick by brick.

    Faith. Finance. Fun.

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